Letter to my Son #1.

My Dearest Mahdi,

It's amazing to think that it's only been a year since you came into our lives. Since you feel as apart of us as any of our limbs, we can hardly remember our lives before you came.

I remember last year, on this very day when i first heard you crying, i was so overwhelmed with emotions that i, myself started crying... then i finally laid my eyes on you. You were powdery white, perfect except for a tiny scar on your forehead.. others would have been freaked out by this scar, but to me you were still the most beautiful little man i had ever seen. Plus, Tok Mama reckoned the scar made you look like Harry Potter. :)

Ayahanda was so happy to meet you, he was so speechless (which is rare for Ayahanda), and there was a funny incident with your poop, which happened that night while he took care of you because i was resting, it will be my most treasured memory forever.

In this ONE year, We’ve taught you about life, how to clap, about words, music, play, what love and happy means, and about important things such as how to walk and not eat strange objects from the floor.

In return, you have taught us how to be stronger, be more patient, laugh more than our stomach muscles can take, survive on minimal sleep, love deeper than we ever thought possible and pray harder everyday that tomorrow brings us closer together.

You’ve opened our eyes to what real beauty and real happiness means, and our hearts are bursting because you’re in our lives.

Soon you will be old enough to talk, walk and make friends. Remember to always share your toys, be kind to others, even if they are mean to you, keep being awesome like you are now, and never loose your spirit and zest. :)

So, As you grow up, always remember that even though sometimes We are busy, know that we are ALWAYS thinking of you. We are both working hard to give you the best life possible because me and Ayahanda love you so so very much.

Happy Birthday Sayang.

Love Always,
Mak and Ayahanda.

November is here!

Let me just say how super excited I am about November...

I'm promising myself i would make a real effort starting from today, that i would;

- eat less carbs

- Go to the gym at least once a week.
- try to cook breakfast and dinner for Muuzi everyday, not just once in awhile.

Wish me luck! :D

ps: My baby boy is 10 months old today. He's is honestly growing up to be quite the young prince charming. He loves to kiss my cheeks and nibble on my chin with his 4 little teeth. I love him SO much. it's unreal that we could love someone so much.

.

Project Me Me Me.

Ever since i've started working again, ive decided to be kind to myself and start rewarding myself from time to time. I've also decided to put some serious effort into my appearance, because lets face it. i've definitely been too comfortable and i've let myself go. (as you can see in this picture taken below.)

As you can CLEARLY see in this picture
- my hair is dry and gross.
- I'm horrendously overweight... last night i scaled in at a whopping 90kgs.   Woh.
- my skin is dull and pale
- my back hurts all the time
- my bones are creaky (ok, this cannot see, but im telling you)
- as you can see, my neck is slowly vanishing as my chin expands. Not acceptable.
- and somehow i feel like my teeth have moved and my gums are receding, making my more 'jongang' than i previously was.

And to be fair, most of these are due to poor maintenance of myself after giving birth
ie: not drinking enuff milk. hence the creaky bones and the receeding gums due to an iron defiency i had during my pregnancy

my gym membership has been on hold for the past few months, so this November its going to be reactivated. And i will have no excuse but to go and get fit! 

I've been slowly paying more attention my skin and hair, more conditioning, using moisturizer before i sleep, those kind of things. However i found this GNC Hair, Skin & Nails Formula Supplement... does anyone know if it works? I was thinking of trying it out and see if it works. I've read mostly positive reviews so far.

I also recently had a haircut with bangs, which helped frame my face back a bit... so it doesn't look as huge as it did in the above photo.

As for my teeth, it's pretty obvious the solution is 'GO TO THE DENTIST'. But i'm stubborn and maybe i tiny bit afraid.. Which is so embarrassing as i am a grown woman.

Haih, no worries. Slowly but surely, i am going to fix all these things about myself, and hopefully be the happier, and no doubt hotter wife and mother. :)

9 Months!

Time flies when you are having SO MUCH FUN!!!

I can't believe Mahdi is already 9 months old.. and somehow i'm also shock that it's ONLY BEEN 9 months since he's been in my life, cuz i can't picture my life before him. :)

Honestly, I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful and understanding little baby.

Everyone who meets him are always surprised at how laid back and funny he is. He doesn't pull tantrums (so much), he doesn't fuss... and he smiles all the time, it makes my heart melt. :)

He's the most wonderful baby in the world (i might be biased.. cuz he's all mine.)

Look what came in the mail today!

The photobook we bought using Groupons is finally here. I absolutely love it!

Mahdi admiring his photobook

Isn't it awesome? I love it!!

Baby Thrush..

My poor little Mahdi boy has a yeast infection...

I started noticing some white spots inside his mouth while we were in PD.. at first i thought it was milk..

So when we got back i tried cleaning it but it didnt seem to come off. So i brought him down to klinik and the Dr confirmed that i was indeed a candida (yeast) infection. So anyway, got some oral gel meds to help... hopefully it will help.

Luckily, it doesnt seem to be bothering him much. He's still a happy little boo.

My Picklebottom is here!!!

Weeee!

I ordered this Petunia Picklebottom baby carrier online... I love online shopping, it's so addictive!

And its finally here!

Im so excited to take Mahdi boy out with it.

 

All ready to go! :D

We are family

Here's some of my fave family pictures of us three so far. :)

Mahdi and Ayahanda.

And of course Mahdi and Me.

It's sad that we don't have that many pictures together... but we don't really have time to take pics that often. But we definitely have fun as a family. 

I love my family so much. These two boys are my world. :)

It's MAY!

A lot of things to look forward to in May..

Firstly, Mahdi is officially 4 months old today!

Secondly, hopefully will celebrate my FIRST ever 'Mothers day'. :)

Thirdly, going to my best friend Jaja's wedding in Penang!

Forth, since today is holiday, im going to go see The Avengers with the boys! Hurrah!

And lastly, something i'm not excited about, is that i'm turning 27 at the end of this month. yikes. :(

My BIG BOY!

Baby boy is 4 months tomorrow!

Here's a few things you should know about Mahdi. 

He likes to wear hats (even though Tok Mama hates them).. he also loves to play with his rattle.

He has started eating solids, but doesn't like apple sauce, it's too sour. 

He loves to go out, and shop! But then again, this could be my fave thing... :P

Mahdi also like to read.... and eat books. :))

His BFF, is a Mr Bean Teddy that his Ayah bought him.

He loves to cuddle with his blankie.

He also love his aunty awesome.

He usually wakes up with a case of crazy hair.

He and his cousin Dalmar, are going to be best buds. But for now, he's still to little to play.

He loves to take pictures with his Mak and Ayahanda. :)

Senti-MENTAL

I think my hormones are out of whack..

I've been having random burst of emotions, where i just cry my eyes out.

Maybe it's because i've been spending a lot of time alone with Mahdi this week, since Muuzi has been super busy with work, coming home late and leaving early.. and mama has been busy with her work, so suddenly i'm starting to feel like Mahdi is all i have going on in my life, and one day, he'll grow up, and leave me too. :(

I know it's a little premature to feel like this, but i can't help how i feel....

I mean he's going to be 4 months old soon.. and i still can't get over that it's been almost 4 months since i became a mom, but then, at the same time i feel like... 'what? it's only been 4 months??'

That's what i mean by my emotions being out of whack. I'm excited, I'm scared, I'm happy, I'm sad.... Its so confusing.

I'm trying to stay positive, but having no one to talk to most of the time, is starting to effect me.. so much, that when mama or Muuzi are home, i can't stop talking.... And i know they need some time to relax and unwind, but i can't stop myself from jabbering on.

I can't wait for mahdi to learn to talk... maybe then life will get more interesting. :)

To wean or not to wean?

I'm honestly confused with all these 'guidelines' on weaning*

I've read that babies tend to wean around 4 months, because they start to teeth and are hungrier.

Then there was a bunch of 'signs' that you are supposed to look for, such as, hunger even after being fed, tongue reflex, chewing motions, interest in adult foods, and so on.

But then, i find an article like this, who tells me that the above is ALL WRONG, and you are supposed to wait 6 months before weaning.

Even the bottle says 'FROM 4 months' but has a disclaimer which says we are not
allowed to feed it to babies under 6 months... so weird.

Im so confused, I'm just going to ask my Dr. when i go see her for Mahdi's Pneomococcal shot.

(*weaning: giving the baby 'solid' foods.)

Blessed

I don't know what it is about being a mom... Its both terrifying and extremely rewarding.

I can't imagine my life without Mahdi in it. He completes me in a way that i didnt even know possible.

I dread the thought of him growing up and i cant hold him in my arms anymore.

In a way makes me appreciate my mother more.. she had to raise me and alia all alone, with no help at all, and she had to work 7 days a week.

Im definately going to work on being a better daughter... Maybe it'll also help me be a better mother. :)

Mahdi and Tok mama... reading a book. :)

Family Outing

We had so much fun today..

Had lunch at The Curve with the extended family...

Mama and Mahdi boy.

Uncle Iffat taking turns with gf, babysitting mahdi and dalmar.

Cousins for life!! Dalmar Latif and lil Mahdi Latif

Dalmar drives his big boy car.

 

After lunch and some light window shopping, Muuzi decided to get a haircut at Peekaboo. I LOVE his new look. I've never seen him with a buzz cut...

Mr Muuzi's new do'

Anyway, the reason for the new look is to signify a CHANGE in our lives, where we are taking responsibility towards our lives and health... we both have decided to be more active and eat healthier, for Mahdi's sake. :)

But diet starts tomorrow, so today, we had BURGER BAKAR KAW KAW Ampang for dinner..

 

Pic taken from Sarah's instagram.... Her picture was way better than mine. :P

Sigh...

I've been in hell the last few days...

Mahdi had a slight fever (after his immunization shot), and has been needing a LOT of attention, and for some unexplained reason, suddenly is refusing to drink from his bottle... and to make matters worst, Muuzi was admitted in the hospital since Monday.. for a Gallbladder infection.

I've been shuffling back and forth with the baby to the hospital because i can't leave him at home, cuz as i mentioned he's refusing to bottlefeed. So i have to bring him everywhere i go, which is incredibly tiring....

Especially since Muuzi needs me now...

I felt like such a bad wife, leaving him to sleep alone in the hospital all those nights.. but i know Muuzi understands that Mahdi needs me more right now.

 

Mahdi all bundled up to visit ayah at DSH.

 

Muuzi in his hospital scrubs before he got discharged..

Luckily Muuzi is out now, and resting up at home, and Mahdi is back to his usual happy self. With the exception that he STILL won't drink from his bottle. Haih.

How la? Any moms out there who know how to go about this?

What is love?

Being a mother has taught me a lot about life, and watching someone grow in front of my eyes makes me put a lot of things in perspective.

Whenever mahdi looks at me, with this adoring look on his face.... i can't help but feel like he's telling me that he loves me.

It's uncomplicated love.... then it got me thinking, why is it so hard for some people to find love, when we are basically born with it.

Mahdi didn't have to learn to love me.. but he does so, regardless of my flaws.


So what is love?

I think love, is basically having someone you need more than anything else.

Its not based on personality, and superficial reasons... because my baby taught me that he doesn't need toys to be happy.

He's happy enough just having us talk to him, and cuddle him. Cuz he needs me... therefore he 'loves' me.

I feel the same way about all the other people i love... my family, Muuzi and my friends.

Muuzi, for example... i couldn't imagine my life now without him. I need him in my life, therefore i love him.

so, Basically, falling in love... is realizing that you 'need' that person in your life.

Hence why, you feel helpless when someone you love/need isn't available.

So when you find someone that 'needs' you, and you find that you 'need' them too.... never let them down. :)

The two people i need the most. :)

The Dunstan Baby Language...

A few days ago Nana sent me this link of this video of the Oprah Show...
and it FREAKING CHANGED MY LIFE.. (i miss Oprah.. huhu)

If you are a new mother... or even a caring aunt. WATCH THIS.

Isn't it MINDBLASTING!! But i bet you are wondering if it actually works... and i swear, it really does!

I've always noticed Mahdi making the 'Neh' sound... but i heard it more like 'Mek', i remember calling him my little kambing, cuz he would go Mekkk, mekkk... but know i figured out when he makes that sound, he's HUNGRY!

After watching the video.. he woke up, and made the 'Neh' sound again. Before even he could start screaming it.. i quickly fed him, then after he was full he looked up at me and gave me the biggest toothless smile (omg i melt!). like he was saying 'thanks mama.. you rock!'. hehe

I've also noticed the 'Owh' cry... and we usually just rock him for a bit and he'll fall asleep instantly.
I'm so excited about learning this system that i went and got the actual DVD.

Seriously speaking, i rarely hear him cry anymore... except when i leave him in his room and he wakes up alone. But other than that, i think he's becoming a calmer, happier baby for sure!.

And he's all smiles now!! (again.. I MELT!!) 

If you know somebody who just had a baby, give them this video... you'll be doing them such a favor!

1 month into 2012...

What... It's february already?? Where does the time go?

My baby boy is getting so big now... It's unbelievable. I'm going to be biased and say he's the best baby in the world..

In all the hoopla of the delivery, pantang and adapting to motherhood.. I realized tht i never made a list of my New Year resolutions.

Here goes.. My 2012 New Years resolution!
- Lose the pregnancy weight...
- go to the freakin gym that u've been paying for blindly for the last year.
- Cook at home more...
- Learn masakan melayu
- Learn to bake!
- Be an awesome mom
- Refresh on photography skills
- Be there for your friends.
- Be a better wife.
- Be a happier person in general.. ( Muuzi says i frown a lot.. and i always look unhappy, which is something he says Mahdi gets from me... This must change.)
- Be POSITIVE!
- Do more vector work..
- Start concentrating on freelancing and writing for pizzzamagazine.com
- Travel more Or at least try.
- stop dressing like a hipster teenager.. And realize u are a 27 year old mother this year and should start acting and dressing like an adult (about time too)

War scars..

Urgh.. These stretchmarks and the linea nigra mark does seem to be fading away yet...

I know its only been a few weeks, but i thought it'll at least fade a bit :(

No such luck..

I need to get some Bio Oil or something A.S.A.P.

 

urgghhhh.. go away pls?

Parenting 101

Like seriously, in this day and age there isn't really any excuse to say 'i don't know how to do...' something.

At least not if you have a working internet connection.

I've learned almost everything i need to know about my pregnancy and these past few weeks of motherhood, online.

Mostly from google search and websites like WhatToExpect.com... I have to say WTE was extremely helpful during my pregnancy. It had a lot of tips and information about what would happen from week to week during the span of the pregnancy.

Since the baby, i found that i needed more visual help.. because there is only so much you can read.

So lately youtube has been my greatest liason.. Check out these super helpful videos on breastfeeding and correct burping techniques (something i seriously fail at..).



It's been a slow weekend... unfortunately for us baby boy has started showing signs of fussiness and crankiness, which might be because of colic (hope not tho..). :( Today i noticed he had a lot a gunk in his left eye.. i panicked, but thanks to google i found out that it's completely normal and apparently it's just a blocked tear duct, which will clear up itself in a few weeks.

I seriously couldn't think of what i would do without google.

Thank you technology.. you make motherhood a tiny bit less scary. :)