Arrrrgh, it twas a Pirate Party!!

Party day is finally over!!

Thank you everyone for coming, i hope you had a good time, despite the guest of honor being in a mood. huhu

 Everything went great! I didn't get as many pictures as i was hoping for cuz my photographer kept eating.
 -_-

Somehow it turned into a potluck thing, and we got loads of food... no complaints cuz the food was so great and yummy!!

Anyway, enuf boring talk... here's some pics!

I'm rejoining the workforce!

Hurrah,

Finally got my paperwork done and now it's official! I'm going back to work. Weeeeeee..


Am excited to be around full grown people again. Meeting new people, having lunch at mamaks, and having a social life that doesn't include dribble and diapers..

Don't get me wrong, I LOOOOVE being at home with my Mahdi boy. Nothing gives me more pleasure and happiness. Seriously.

But we want to buy a house, and have a great place for him to grow up, that we can call our own. And in this economy, lets face it... One pay check is definitely NOT ENOUGH. So i've decided to sacrifice some of my time with Mahdi, in order to provide him the with best life ever. :)

Lucky for me, my mother and sister have offered to babysit Mahdi until he's old enuff to go to a nursery. But more on the later.

I don't know how i'm going to be able to leave for work on that first day.... i might cry. I feel like crying just thinking about it. Huuuuu

Psst.. check out Mahdi's two tiny baby teeth.. HOW PRECIOUS ARE THEY?? ^_^

Frumplestilskin...

I'm currently losing a battle with myself...

Everyday, i'm looking, therefore feeling more, and more... like a makcik.

Not Makcik like... 'hi, this is ayesha, my makcik' but more like... 'hi, this is ayesha, THE MAKCIK'...

In a effort to please my elders, i have started to dress a certain way... mostly, because it makes them happy, and secondly, i dont really want to argue about style.. because it would be pointless, and lastly, i havent lost my ideal amount of weight since the pregnancy, and frankly, im still wearing most of my maternity clothes.

I feel my self esteem has taken a dive for the worst, i dont feel like going out, because i have nothing to wear, and i dont really want to meet up with people, cuz i feel awkward out there in public.

And now, whenever i do get a chance to shop, i don't... because i feel pretty things look ridiculous on me. And i feel horrible most of the time.... the only new clothes i get is if people buy them for me, and it's usually too big, but i wear them anyway..... until one day i realise, to my horror... it has started to fit.

I don't feel like that confident, funny girl, who bagged this amazing man.. I am not this shy recluse, whos more snide than funny... I am not a MAKCIK. I refuse to go down with out a fight.

So starting today!! Im going to work on losing the FRUMPY-ness...

No more giant BROWN clothes... that look, and feel like burlaps.

No more excuses about not going to the gym.....

No more living like a hermit, and refusing to go out..

No more.

I absolutely refuse to feel insecure about how i look anymore... it's not like me. If i can do something about it, i damn well will do it.

My 30 before 30 list

In a few days, i turn 27 years old. Gaaaahhhhhh...

It's so crazy how this last few years have just flown by... and in three years, i'll be reaching the big 3-0, so i thought it would be fun to make a list of things have yet/would like to accomplish before i turn 30.

Obviously, i've done the big ticket items... like, get married, get a baby. But there's SO MUCH MORE that i want to achieve/do before i turn 30..

1. Own a house
2. Learn to cook awesome Nasi Lemak.
3. Get a cat!
4. Go hiking
5. Reach your target weight!!!
6. Master cooking up a gourmet 5-course meal.
7. Learn to surf.
8. Go Deep Sea Diving
9. Start a business
10. Learn Yoga
11. Create a canvas acrylic painting
12. Fly a kite
13. Own something ridiculous
14. Go to Bali
15. Take pole dancing lessons.
16. Go to Greece
17. See a historic monument
18.Visit the relatives in the UK
19. Spend an entire day at a spa
20. Rock out at a foreign music festival.
21. Master a karaoke song. Flawlessly.
22. Learn guitar.
23. Learn to sew my own clothes.
24. Actually drive out of town... (amazingly haven't done this yet)
25. Go fruit/apple picking in an orchard with Mahdi.
26. Learn a foreign language.
27. Watch the cherry blossoms bloom in Japan
28. Try fancy sushi/sashimi (not the generic crabmayo ones)
29. Bathe in a waterfall
30. Have another baby. :)

Life on the Fab lane.

I've been doing a LOT of thinking lately,

About my future, and all sorts of things.

I have never like to be dependent on anyone for anything.. when we were dating, it took me awhile to get used to Muuzi paying for stuff. I'd usually have to fight him for the check.

Now, eventho i'm so thankful to him, that i have been given the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom (a job a lot of my friends really want btw)... i somehow feel bad that i can't contribute to the house and it's kinda freaking me out that my resume will be completely blank from here onwards.

Eventho my freelance jobs are great so far, and i'm working on some projects with Pizzzamagazine.com and Northern Music Festival (more on this soon), but i have still have this feeling that im not stable.

So im thinking of starting my own online business. i want to sell all the adorable things i find. Baby stuff, Moms stuff, eventually i'd like to start designing my own things to sell, those dreams are probably too big for now but u know what they say, DREAM BIG.

Problem is, i'm having a hard time coming up with a cool name for the business and domain name.

Anyone have any ideas?

I was thinking of maybe calling it www.hotmamas.com.my, but its still only a working title.

If Kimora Lee can do it, why can't we...

 

Obviously, the ultimate Hotmama

 

Me and my FLAT hair...

I need to go to a saloon and/or the gym....

or least go out and let my hair soak up some good old vitamin D (which comes from the sun, fyi)...

All this staying indoors is making my hair very flat, dull and lifeless... not to mention making me fat and lazy.

Seriously, i went from THIS....

     to this 

WTH!!

Lets not even get into the fact that picture 1, is about 10kgs lighter than picture 2.....

THIS IS UNfriggin ACCEPTABLE!!!!! I gotta do something about this now before this....

 

turns into

 

THIS!!!

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

War scars..

Urgh.. These stretchmarks and the linea nigra mark does seem to be fading away yet...

I know its only been a few weeks, but i thought it'll at least fade a bit :(

No such luck..

I need to get some Bio Oil or something A.S.A.P.

 

urgghhhh.. go away pls?

Parenting 101

Like seriously, in this day and age there isn't really any excuse to say 'i don't know how to do...' something.

At least not if you have a working internet connection.

I've learned almost everything i need to know about my pregnancy and these past few weeks of motherhood, online.

Mostly from google search and websites like WhatToExpect.com... I have to say WTE was extremely helpful during my pregnancy. It had a lot of tips and information about what would happen from week to week during the span of the pregnancy.

Since the baby, i found that i needed more visual help.. because there is only so much you can read.

So lately youtube has been my greatest liason.. Check out these super helpful videos on breastfeeding and correct burping techniques (something i seriously fail at..).



It's been a slow weekend... unfortunately for us baby boy has started showing signs of fussiness and crankiness, which might be because of colic (hope not tho..). :( Today i noticed he had a lot a gunk in his left eye.. i panicked, but thanks to google i found out that it's completely normal and apparently it's just a blocked tear duct, which will clear up itself in a few weeks.

I seriously couldn't think of what i would do without google.

Thank you technology.. you make motherhood a tiny bit less scary. :)

Attack of the boobs.

It's day four and i am still surviving motherhood (cheers!)

Despite the intensely painful nipple problem i mentioned earlier, i am still breastfeeding..

I'm simply adamant to follow thru on this even if at the end of it my boobs deflate and will probably be worst for wear.

I did not however, expect the pain to get worse. :(

I woke up in the middle of last night to rock hard boobs... and a overwhelming amount of pain on my back. After a quick google i found out that i am currently going thru the 'engorgement' phase of breastfeeding.. basically it's when you run of on collestrum and start having real milk, which then fills up your breast like inflated water balloons (but less fun).

My mother scrambled to find the Tommee Tippee breastpump we had bought a few weeks ago (luckily) in preparation for the birth.. after a quick read of the instructions, i started pumping away the pain...

To my surprise, the nipple pain was relieved as well.. which was a blessing. Don't get me wrong, it still hurt like hell, but at least it was manageable.

I managed to express two small containers of milk, and then went back to sleep.. only to be woken up a couple more times that night by Mahdi..

By 7am this morning, i literally felt like dying. Forget the major abdominal surgery i had, my breast had forsaken me and were burning up. Those last few late night feeds took it's toll on my already fragile nipples and basically left them tattered.

I woke up to Mahdi crying for more milk (which he does every hour).. and i started crying too.

I felt like i should be able to be stronger than this, and give my baby everything he needs.. i was distraught. Finally Muuzi said we should use the milk that i expressed the previous night, at least that give my breast a few hours to rest and heal. I was reluctant to try.. because i had read about nipple confusion, and how newborns should wait at least 4 weeks before being introduced to bottle teats.. but i was desperate.

Mahdi took to the bottle like a champion, and i have to say i was relieved to not have to feed him for awhile.. My plan now is to alternate between a bottle and the breast so that he gets used to both, and i can get some rest and have some time to heal.

 

My little champion at 4 days old

Ask and you shall receive..

Urgh..

U know how i've been complaining about not getting my Braxton Hicks contractions and not really knowing what a contraction feels like?

I take it back..

I finally started getting contractions around 2am this morning.. And daaaammmnnn it hurts.

As per Dr's advice, we drove straight to the hospital in selayang and after another rigorous round of poking and prodding, i was told to go home.. Yet again.

I can't say i wasn't disappointed to be dismissed again (i might have cried.. a little, due to frustration). I was reassured that the baby is fine, and it won't be long now.

Am getting so anxious.. And these contractions are getting worst and more painful. I don't know how much more i can take :(

I am meeting with my OB, Dr Roslan on friday and hopefully we'll have better news by then.

Oh Crap!!

After days and days of complaining about when the baby would actually show up... I've been stumped!

Warning TMI:
i just found some blood on my undies.. (since i haven't my period in awhile.. I was freaked!)

I googled it and found out that 'bloody show' is one of the many delightful sympthoms of labor.. Which means in 24 hours (if all goes well) im going to have a baby!!!!

I am now suddenly freaking out. Yet excited!

Yet scared out of my frickin mind!! Weirdly i haven't had any contractions yet.. Just his usual poking and prodding.

But then again i still don't really know what a real contraction feels like!!! I'm gonna wait this one out and see what happens then. Will update soon!!!

Things i'm looking forward to...

The days are passing now faster then ever nowadays... almost like magic.

I'm on constant contraction watch, yet i'm not really sure what a contraction feels like... i tried reading about it but most of the blogs and forums all have different ideas of what a contraction feels like. But, most of them agree that when we get them, you know immediately.

But in my case, i have a rather high tolerance of pain and practically feel discomfort most of the time now and it's really starting to toy with my head... 'wait... was that a contraction? or is the baby trying to tear up my uterus from the inside?' and then it stops and a day later, still no baby.

However thru the constant anxiety of waiting to pop, i decided to focus on all the things i'm looking forward to doing when i am no longer pregnant (honestly, i feel like i've been pregnant forever)...

Here's a list of the 'Things i'm looking forward to'...

• Sleeping/Rolling on my tummy... i miss this so much, it's so unnatural.
• Eating a big helping of RAW sushi... with extra ebiko and fresh salmon!! yummmm..

• Jumping... Running... Dancing... things i wouldn't miss until they said i couldn't do it anymore.
• Climb ladders and lift heavy objects on my own.. and not wait around helplessly for people to decide to help me (which might take AEONS)
• Getting a JOB!!! Going back to work is my ultimate goal... even with a 7 month gap in my resume, i really, really want to work again... for fear i might lose my mind completely.
• Wearing JEANS!!!!!!! OMG, how i miss the felling of wearing a rusty, tight fitting pair of jeans... it's insane. After this i'm swearing off ALL ELASTIC PANTS.
• while we are on the subject of clothes, i can't wait to buy something that fits me normally... something that doesn't need to be stretchable would be nice..
• relatives/strange people-i-dont-know not being able to touch my belly sesuka hati mereka.. just because i'm sharing my body with another person, doesn't mean i wanna share it with you.
• I'm looking forward to not being pregnant... and oddly looking forward to being treated like a person who nobody cares about not like i'm made of glass and will shatter into a million pieces with the slightest mistreatment.
• But lastly, i'm just looking forward to meeting my little man, who's been keeping me up late at night with his kicking and moving around... i already have a feeling he's going to be a handful but i'm sure seeing him for the first time will make the last 9 months of not doing the things above, worth it.

Although i have a couple of weeks to go... i have a feeling that i might be celebrating a birthday sooner than expected. :)

All packed up with no place to go..

My hospital bags are packed and i'm ready to go.. I packed two separate bags cuz i'm semangat like that.

For those who are looking for ideas and such for what to pack.. here's the list of what i've included in my packing.

Ingredients of my Baby bag

* Newborn diapers

* Receiving blanket

* Towel

* Socks 

* Sleepsuit

* Baby's go home baju

* Mittens

* Cap

 

My hospital bag ingredients

* Socks

* Sanitary pads

* Breast pads

* Disposable underwear

* Towel 

* My ipod

* Nursing bra

* Going home outfit

* Sweater

* B/pump and bottle milk storage

* Buttoned down shirt to wear as baju tidur

* Wet Wipes

* Toiletries

* Baby documents

Now i'm all packed with no place to go... it's gonna be a slow few weeks.

Unemployment here i come!!

Today is my last day in my current office.

It wasn't suppose to be today, because i was supposed to serve 3 months after quitting but about 3 weeks after i tendered my resignation they found out i was pregnant and offered me an early release from my contract. Citing if i were to stay on the full 3 months i would be obliged to work weekends and late nights like usual regardless of my current 'condition'.

I mean, no doubt in my mind it was a shitty move on their part. I have often heard that pregnancies is basically the END of an advertising career... that is why most* of the women in advertising aren't married, or if they are will be 40 and childless.

(*i say most because there are some people who still make it work.. but mostly it's very difficult)

Anyway, as you can see, i took the early release deal anyway.. i really can't be bothered to stay on if i'm going to be a 'burden' to the team, with my constant morning sicknesses and inability to tolerate the teams strong cigarette stench..

Well, It was fun working here, until it wasn't anymore :) I'll probably miss the boys, and the few friends i've made here.

But now it's time for some rest and relaxation until i figure out what i'm going to do with the rest of my life!! woooooooooo!

ps: Dear Johnny Depp, please save your career and don't do another Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Cus the last one sucked pretty bad, if you absolutely must do one, bring Orlando Bloom pls? :P

First comes love, then come marriage...

then comes pink pee stick and a baby carriage. :P

OMGeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkksss!!!

Finding the right BLOG name...

I'm still stuck about that darn blog name.... so i did some research

How to choose the right Blog Name.

#1: Make a checklist.
When choosing your personal blog title, you want the title to be original, inform blog readers what your blog is going to be about, catch the attention of your readers, maintain a short length, and include the right keywords for search engine traffic. Make sure you capture all six points when considering your blog title, assuming that you already have a blog topic chosen.

#2: Make a list of blog titles.
Write down possible blog names related to your niche on a blank piece of paper in order to choose a personal blog title. Then walk away from the list of blog names for a few hours. When you come back to your list, add some more ideas before walking away once more for another hour or two. Come back to your list, read it over, and choose the blog title that sounds the most appealing.

#3: Make a list of song names.

Make a list of all your favorite songs that relate somewhat to your blog topic. Song names may inspire a personal blog title of your liking. From that list, choose a few blog names that are related to your blog. In a few hours, you can add more song names to the list if you want. You can even combine two song names to create a unique blog title just perfect for your niche.

#4: Browse advertisements for personal blog titles.

Browse advertisements related to your blog topic to come up with a good personal blog title. Go to a blog related to what your blog topic is going to be about and browse the ads on the website. Read them and, if a few keywords from the advertisements inspire you, write them down. Pretty soon you'll have a bunch of keywords to choose from for your blog title. Be creative!

#5: Browse blog directories.

Go to a blog directory (blog directories can be found in the Resources section of this page) and browse the many blogs on display in order to choose a personal blog title. Make sure the blogs you're looking at are related to your blog's niche. Take a look at the blog names and use these names as examples of what your blog title coul be. You can even ask the author of each blog that you like how he came up with the blog name.

#6: Find an available domain name for your blog title.

Choose a blog title that has an available domain name. For example, the personal blog title that I chose when creating my freelance writing blog was Cash Campfire and "www.cashcampfire.com" was available when I made my blog title. So, once you decide that a certain blog title is a right fit for you, do a search in your address bar or a domain directory to make sure that it's not already taken.

#7: Get outside help.

Create the perfect personal blog title by getting outside help. Gather up a few blog names that sound pretty good and have someone you care about look them over. That someone can be a friend, family member, boyfriend, or girlfriend. Whoever it is, ask the person for suggestions on other blog names that can be used. You can even ask a professional blogger for ideas as well.

So how? Any ideas yet? I really need help with this!! Puhhhleeeeaaaassseeeeee?!

I BOUGHT A DOMAIN!!!

Thanks to GROUPON, i found this deal to get a domain for RM40... if u have known me forever, you would remember my brief domain www.ayeshadam.com (now defunct), which was my online design portfolio. Which is basically useless now since i don't like uploading my work online anymore.

But now i'm thinking of moving this blog to a [dot]com... Hopefully the move would make me revive the passion i use to have to blog, also since im paying for the domain, it'll be a total waste if i neglect it.

Problem is coming up with a solid timeless domain name... a lot of things factor in a blog/websites name.

I came up with Tragic Telenovela roughly 6-7 years ago when i was 18 years old, it was when my life was just starting, mostly broke and penniless, emotional, and rebelious. i had started university and i was in my first overly (of many) dramatic relationship, I had reached out to my long lost step siblings from my estranged fathers side, and i had that core of amazing friends to guide me thru my rough patches.

Well, basically my life felt like a 'spanish telenovela', full with plot twist, bad acting, multiple choices, comic relief and the never ending hope for a dashing 'Fernando' aka Prince Charming to save me from my obscure existence... then i grew up, and realized that life is actually pretty awesome, and i didn't need Prince Charming to save me... in fact he'd be lucky if i even gave him the time of day.

So, now being grown up older WISER! I don't feel the same way... I'm married, and i don't feel that my life would be turned upside down over small issues... i now know that however bad it gets, with a good group of friends around you, and the love of your FAMILY (something i never appreciated before), it gets better.

That being said, i definitely have to change my blog name if i am to move to a [dot]com, the problem is finding the write name that will be TIMELESS, so i can keep my blog through out my life, and when i have kids and grandkids, they can read what a total mess i was, and how i grew up eventually. :P

Any suggestions for good names?

 

Emphasis on GOOD NAMES.

The woman in me.

Im living the life of a 'adult'.

i'm 26 this year *cringe*, i'm married, have a full time job, and have bills to pay. I'm suppose to be a grown up.. right?

Honestly i am still struggling to find out what to do with my life...

I love what i do, but at some point i would like to start a family.. and the advertising gig and it's unpredictable working hours might be challenging.

Hmm.. well, we'll just have to wait and see i guess. Family life is a long time away. :)

Weak Ends.

Happy Monday people…

So many things have happened since the last update, I finally watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows on Thursday with Muuzi, and the boys, then again on Saturday night with Mama and Alia. ☺

Can’t wait for part 2!!! But then again, that would mean the END of Harry Potter…. Forever! ☹ I’m so not prepared to let go yet. Boo.

I was supposed to go to Peter Pan Behind the scenes on Saturday but in the end couldn’t make it in time because of the horrible jam on Klang Lama… sigh. At least I get to watch the grand premiere this Friday with Alia. :D can’t wait.

I had some much needed pamper me time at HairKunst the curve and meself a haircut. Now im all shiny and new. Ngeeee.

Funny story about the haircut, Muuzi originally wanted to go to Peek-a-boo because of all the hot amoi ‘hairstylist’ but I insisted on using my Hairkunst voucher that I got from www.mydeals.com.my (which is now my current fave website btw).. anyway, we got to Hairkunst and to my joy (and Muuzi’s dismay) all the hairstylist were dudes, there was only one girl… but she turned out to be a dude as well… haha.

So I sat there in my saloon chair giggling as a watched Muuzi pretend he was not enjoying being shampoo’d and massaged by a man. Twas funny.

Anyhow, I thought his haircut looked pretty good, but he doesn’t like it that much, he still wants his peek-a-boo lady. I however love my new haircut. It a bit shorter than im used to lately, but it’s a so sleek and shiny. I love it!

Will upload pics of the new do' soon.

Ps: next week me & alia, are gonna redeem our Kukubar vouchers and get manipedi’s in time for Aussie trip ^_^ it’s gonna be EPIC!! I wanna get some crazy colored nails! Weeeeee!

Irky.

Can't blame how i feel on PMS, since it's been happening more months, but i get easily annoyed lately.

Just thinking about certain things makes me irky.

Feel like something/someone, is missing from my life... and well, i hate that i'm no longer considered a friend to that person.

Sad but true, this person avoids me like the plague, and i just don't know how it became this way. It just did.

Hmm... somehow i know i don't deserve being treated this way.