The unfortunate circle of life...

Today... me, alia, ezani and mama went to visit my grand aunt, tok Hawa (my tok Adam's sister) at University Hospital.

She was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, and sadly the cancer has reached her vital organs and brain...

I went to UH expecting the worst, but i was surprised she was still talkative and would laugh at our jokes despite half her body being paralyzed... Tok Hawa even made a joke about the doctor asking her whether she smoked cigarettes or drank alcohol, for her to end up with this stage of cancer... somehow she found this hilarious, because she is so pious, and has never done any of those things... Heck, she even puasa enam and rejab every single year without fail, since i can remember.

In ways, she reminds me so much of Tok Adam's personality, and find myself missing him whenever Tok Hawa is around. I remember when i was 12 years old, we stayed with her in Johor Bahru for a few months.. at the time i was about to take my UPSR exams, and there was this 14 year old boy, Muzaffar, that lived next door who used to come over to Tok Hawa's house to deliver me love letters. It was so hilarious how she would encourage me to talk to him, since i was super shy, but then my Tok Adam would chase him away... :P

I know she's old and stuff, but part of me wishes that she doesn't have to go... but realistically i know she doesn't have long before it's her time to go meet Allah swt and maybe keep Tok Adam company til the rest of us catch up.

I also wish that she could at least meet Mahdi, before she leaves us... and maybe she can tell Tok Adam how adorable his new cicit is. :(

Ok i'm gonna stop here, cuz honestly i'm bawling my eyes out in front of this laptop...