Wednesday, April 13

Tragedi Berulang Lagi...

Gemuk. Gila.

No, I'm not being emotional about it, but yes being fat is driving me crazy... i keep complaining like a bitch about it. But NOT really doing anything about it.

I tried to hop on the Diet Train, i was working for a bit till i fell off and began binging miserably on deliciously satisfying fatty foods. EVIL.

I joined a gym in hopes that finally having to PAY for fitness will encourage me to start paying more attention to my deteriorating body, but i have yet to step foot in the gym while blindly paying the RM185 a month out of guilt. I'm so Pathetic. Seriously.

Anyway, today i bravely stepped on the scale that i had been avoiding this pass few months. No surprise the number shown was the largest it has ever been for me – 89kg's.

No one else to blame but myself really. I let myself get this way.

It does seem superficial to some but my weight gain has changed me in a way, i'm shy around new people, i don't like to go out as much as i used to, my self esteem has taken a turn for the worst and really, it wasn't that great to begin with..

I'm becoming someone that doesn't want to be around people, and in return people are starting to dislike being around me.

Even Muuzi has seen these changes in me, and has more than once told me that i've become a negative force that is just miserable to be around. Summore it's not just my attitude but my total health in general is suffering, i get shortness of breath when i walk up to my office on the first floor, my back hurts constantly because of all the extra weight and according to some people i am starting to develop a snoring habit..... i suppose that's where i draw the line.

Anyhow, this has to end! Why put it off right?

I miss being happy about buying new clothes and going shopping, now i mostly just cringe at the thought of entering a shop, since size is always an issue.

I've been reading Alia's Dukan Blog, which is really motivating, she's lost  and she posted up this link that calculates your entire health in a summary.

Your Personal Summary

  • Gender: Female
  • Height: 5' 7"
  • Age: 25
  • Current Weight: 196 (89kgs)
  • Current Pant Size: 16
  • Weight Goal: Lose 2 pounds per week
  • BMI: 30.7
  • Waist to Height Ratio: 0.54
  • Healthy Body Weight Range: 118 and 159 (52-72kgs)
  • Target Heart Rate: 98 to 146 (89kgs)
  • Target Caloric Intake to Meet Weight Goal: 1200
I miss this girl... can i be like this again pls??

By this i mean, confident and not bitter.

1 comment:

Alia said...

I think you better fix that pants size, you're not a 36!! It's the American equivalent lah. So if you're a UK size 16, that'll be US 18. Did you not see that the ratio is 0.84?! We'd have to roll you down a hill then! Hahahahahha..

And don't malas! Eat properly! Jom DUKANNNNNNNNNNNNN!! :D

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