Wednesday, August 17

An the anxiety creeps in...

I've been having some trouble sleeping lately, being pregnant for me has been an emotional roller coaster..

The anxiety of worrying about my little one.. the constant checking of baby forums on various things that worry me, like the way i sleep, or how hot can my showers be, or the types of food i've been eating...

There's more but i can't remember..

Anyway, i've been an emotional wreck, but not many people to talk to about it, cuz i don't want to put my negative feelings out there..

I'm terrified most days.. and as we count down towards the due date, i get worse.

The weird thing is, i'm not even scared of the whole birthing process.. but more like concern if the baby is going to be ok and healthy, or if he'll have 11 fingers instead of 10.. and even if he is born healthy and perfect despite me and everything i am, am i going to be a good mom?

*more proof of my 'emotional wreckness'.. i'm getting all choked up just thinking about this now*

Honestly, I don't know.. i guess we'll find out in about 19 weeks.

*sigh.. it's ok baby... i know how you feel. :( *

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