ME
i have a hole in my heart...no silly not the disease..but just an empty place..where someone special to me used to be...i recently realized that my past year in mmu has been nothing but a LIE...OMG, i knew i was stupid to believe that i was special...i now realise that i'm nothing actually..just someone who was there at the right time....

imagine if u may...giving ur whole life with a guy...giving up ur friends..and actually blowing some people off so that u and that one guy can be together...happy forever..HAH! then one day u find out everything was an act...HOW THE HELL?? can someone act to be in love with u..for almost a year...and then suddenly end it by saying "i sayang kat u....but i tak leh tipu u dah"...wtf!! if it was a lie from the freaking begining why didn't u just leave me alone from the begining???

someone told me, that i like to express myself to the world...i like to tell total strangers my problems...if i'm angry..i'll show everyone i'm angry and if i'm sad i'll show the world that i'm sad.....it's actually true..i love the attention...does that make me a bitch?? i like showing people how miserable my life is...u know y??i'm testing u guys..i'm waiting to see who actually gives a damn enuff to ask me whats going on or rather whats wrong....i'm glad to know lots of people give a damn... except the main person who i'd give anything...just for him to care bout me..i feel like i've been lied to for soooo long..that i don't know if any of it was ever real...i gave all i could..and got jacksquat in return...i got nothing back..except this big hole in my heart where he used to be...GOD! i'm so angry that i loved u....i so angry that i still do..even after all the shit that happened...but i suppose shit does happen right?? and stuff happens for a reason i suppose maybe now i'll find someone who actually can love me and me alone... and love me for who i am... and just love me with no questions asked... maybe i will forget u one day... until i do i'll hate myself everyday for trusting u.... i'll hate myself for not knowing better.... when i say i hate u.. i guess it's not true.. cuz actually i hate me...

but all in all...i have to say i thank u..for opening my eyes...and for at least letting me feel loved...even tho it was just for pretend..at least i know how it would feel even tho it was lie...hurmm